bubbly and lovely: i'm too poor for therapy.
been there and back again. too many thoughts and opinions and hormones get me in trouble.
|
|
| |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
5.30.2003
back to usual
this one IS going to be boy-related...
i can't sleep because i'm a bit out of sorts and the wind is howling so bad i swear we're going to get blown off the face of this earth. i'm exhausted and my eyelids are droopy but i'm sitting in front of this computer.
i go home, back to the states, away from this new zealand place, in about two weeks. and yet again, predictably, i've gotten myself into a romantic tanglement. one 20-year-old wasn't enough, so i ran to the arms of a kiwi. it's been over a month since we first got involved and it's been a pretty bumpy road. but i'm starting to grow fond of him, and appreciate his goodness and kindness and sweetness. and yet, i have this sinking feeling that if i weren't leaving, i would never have gotten involved with him in the first place.
if you asked harsha, this astrologer i consulted a few weeks ago out of sheer desperation, it's because i'm trying to leave myself an out. i'm afraid of rejection yet also trying to assert myself after lifetimes (literally) of being in relationships where i was subservient and lost my identity to my partner. i'm not sure i buy the past life stuff, but i'm definitely afraid of rejection. maybe so much so that i'd prefer not to get involved in the first place. so true for most of us, no?
anyhow, it's late and i'm starting to lose sight of the point of this post, which probably there wasn't one to start with. :)
10:20
(0) comments
5.07.2003
a lone post...
and this one's not boy-related.
from the nytimes: writing as a block for asians
keep your brain exercised and fit and maybe you won't be dumb like a squashed potato, as most people i'm surrounded by here seem to be.
03:59
(0) comments
|
|
| |
|
|
|
