bubbly and lovely: i'm too poor for therapy.
been there and back again. too many thoughts and opinions and hormones get me in trouble.
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4.09.2004
what to do
i caught the tail end of michael moore's documentary bowling for columbine on t.v. today and it has made me quite despondent. i usually think i'm quite lucky to have been born and raised in the united states. my parents have done pretty well here, business-wise, and thusly i have been quite priveleged. i graduated from a very good college with no debt. i have had a car since the day i turned 17. i haven't ever gone hungry because we couldn't buy food (financially speaking). and as a result of many of these advantages, i've been educated and enlightened enough to realize just how shitty america can be sometimes. why do we kill each other so wantonly? why are we so confused about sexuality (i.e. we freak out when janet shows a nipple but billboards of 30-foot-tall nearly naked women are plastered all over times square)? why do we go around the world trying to bully everyone? why are we so wasteful and heartless? why do we insist on driving huge cars and depending on oil? why is everything so disposable (mops, toilet brushes, face cleaner, etc etc)? i'm not ungrateful for my freedoms, but why can't we be more enlightened to do good even more good with our freedoms? why do we use our freedomes to be evil?
true i am suffering from some withdrawal. i've just returned from new zealand and in my head it's being played up as some sort of heaven on earth. i know that's not true. every country has its problems. i guess ... it's just a phase.
07:57
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