10.13.2002
kids
slowly, oh so slowly, and against all my control, i think i'm really falling for someone. and all it really takes is that he has compassion for children, is interested in their well-being, and wants to do something for some who live in the bronx. it's unbelievable, really. ok, yeah, he's kind of cute, but to be honest, he's also shorter than i, which is kind of a turn-off, but the kids thing really, really makes up for it.
i don't want to have kids of my own, in all honesty. i look around and see how shitty of a world we live in and i cannot bear bringing more, of my own faulty flesh and blood nonetheless, into this world. but i want to do my damndest to help those who, without a choice, are put in this world. so while it's true that i might be doing some volunteer work to get closer to this guy, i can't deny the fact that i will (hopefully) be doing some good. and i was looking to do some volunteer work and this opportunity presented itself.
but i'm kind of off point. about this guy. and his compassion for kids. it speaks to a deeper character, i think. to me, it reflects an inner desire to do good, to love kids, who can be so helpless and needy. i can't really put it into words that are eloquent enough. i'm just sort of moved when i think about it. i get this topsy-turvy, flippy-floppy feeling in my stomach. and when i sit next to him at work, gosh darn it, it sure is hard to concentrate.
all from one fateful day at the water cooler.
23:43
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bubbly and lovely: i'm too poor for therapy.
