bubbly and lovely: i'm too poor for therapy.
been there and back again. too many thoughts and opinions and hormones get me in trouble.
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10.01.2002
totally official
i've wired the last of the money owed to the folks at adventure education in tauranga, new zealand. the course dates are 20 january to 23 may. so it's totally official. WHOO!! AUGH. every once in a while i get a queasy feeling in my stomach because really i know i'm going to get homesick and probably miss my mom's cooking and miss my totally annoying family. but it'll be good and fun and quite an adventure and maybe get all the traveling/wanderlust out of my system.
but i think today i realized why i have such a hard time putting down roots. it has nothing to do with feeling old and settled down. i think it has to do with how i never really had roots growing up. i was reading an article, which incidentally was quite expertly written and very interesting, in today's nytimes about a community in louisiana where people just don't leave. basically when kids grow up they move, at most, like five miles away. and in the article was some statistic about how kids who grow up in families that move across state lines are more likely to do so themselves.
well let me tell you about me.
when i was one, i went to live with my aunt in taiwan. i came back, as i remember it, right before i started kindergarten. after a year there, we started living in new york city and i was commuting every day to a grade school in a town right outside the lincoln tunnel. (well, not literally...) i remember the guy who drove us worked at the parking lot next door to the building where we lived, which incidentally was above my parents' restaurant and was actually commercial space. for second grade we moved to that town outside the lincoln tunnel but i switched schools. then onto another nearby town for third and fourth grades -- at a catholic school, incidentally. my family is not even remotely catholic. after third grade, i was asking my parents if we were moving because i had gotten into this rhythm. finally, for fifth grade, we moved to a ritzy town in essex county, new jersey, where i lived until i went to college. my parents recently put that house on the market and it was quite tragic for me.
anyhow, my point is that if kids who move a lot are more likely to move when they grow up, well, it's all starting to make sense.
00:58
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