6.06.2003
the plunge
sometimes i just want to take the plunge and do it for a guy. just make a risky decision that will put me in a situation where i can actually explore a relationship with a guy. because i think what my pattern of only getting involved with guys right before i leave a place means is i'm afraid of commitment, afraid of rejection, afraid of finding and falling for the wrong guy. so if i get with someone at a time when i know it's impossible for it to continue very seriously, meaning we'll soon be separated by great geographical distances, then i can have the fun of romance and stuff without the risks.
but maybe it's time i bit the bullet and opened myself up to true romance, to true dating, instead of these whacked out soap opera situations i get myself into. the question is, is this the one i should take that risk with? probably not, i mean besides the age thing (SIX YEARS' DIFFERENCE!), there's the alcohol thing. but gosh darn it he really is sweet.
i think deep down inside i do know that this isn't meant to be, that this was just a distraction, a way to satisfy my romantic needs. because i'm looking for much more than he can give. and whilst i care about him, and feel a very motherly urge towards him, i do not want to spend my life taking care of someone, supporting someone as he achieves his potential. well, yeah i do, but i want someone who can do that for me simultaneously. and i don't think wanting to get me high/drunk/in any altered state is really helping me achieve my potential.
ahh, the clarity of the sick at late hours.
06:36
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6.03.2003
back to jersey pride
i must confess that i've been telling everyone here that i'm from new york city. i guess it depends on what they mean by "where you're from", but it's heaps easier to say nyc than new jersey. but now that i'm going back to the states, i'm going to reclaim my proper jersey roots. and to help in doing that ...
fun jersey facts for your enjoyment and reading pleasure
New Jersey is a peninsula.
Highlands, New Jersey has the highest elevation along the entire eastern seaboard, from Maine to Florida.
New Jersey is the only state where all of its counties are classified as metropolitan areas.
New Jersey has more race horses than Kentucky.
New Jersey has the oldest lighthouse in the USA. The Sandy Hook Lighthouse was built in 1764.
New Jersey has more Cubans in Union City (1 sq. mi.) than Havana, Cuba.
New Jersey has the most dense system of highways and railroads in the US.
New Jersey has the most diners in the world and is sometimes referred to as the Diner Capital of the World.
North Jersey has the most shopping malls in one area in the world, with seven major shopping malls in a 25 square mile radius.
New Jersey is home to the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island.
The Passaic River was the site of the first submarine ride by inventor John P. Holland.
New Jersey has 50+ resort cities & towns, some of the nations' most famous: Asbury Park, Wildwood, Atlantic City, Seaside Heights, Long Branch & Cape May.
New Jersey has the most stringent testing along our coastline for Water Quality Control than any other seaboard state in the entire country.
New Jersey is a leading industrial state and is the largest chemical producing state in the nation when you include pharmaceuticals.
Two-thirds of the world's eggplants are grown in New Jersey.
Jersey tomatoes are known the world over as being the best you can buy.
New Jersey is the world leader in blueberry and cranberry production.
Here's to New Jersey-the toast of the country! In 1642, the first brewery in America opened in Hoboken.
New Jersey rocks! The famous Les Paul invented the first solid body electric guitar in Mahwah in 1940, and he still lives there!
New Jersey is a major seaport state with the largest seaport in the US, located in Elizabeth. Nearly 80% of what our nation imports comes through Elizabeth Seaport first.
New Jersey is home to one of the nation's busiest airports at Newark International.
George Washington slept here. Several important Revolutionary War battles were fought on New Jersey soil, led by General George Washington.
The light bulb, phonograph (record player), and motion picture projector were invented by Thomas Edison in his Menlo Park, NJ laboratory. We also boast the first town ever lit by incandescent bulbs.
The transistor was invented in Murray Hill, NJ at Bell Laboratories.
Bell Lab engineers in Holmdel, NJ were the first to detect the background radiation of the Big Bang.
The first seaplane was built in Keyport, NJ.
The first airmail (to Chicago) was started from Keyport, NJ.
The first phonograph records were made in Camden, NJ.
New Jersey is home to the Miss America pageant held in Atlantic City.
The game Monopoly, played all over the world, named the streets on their playing board after the actual streets in Atlantic City.
Atlantic City has the longest boardwalk in the world.
New Jersey has the largest petroleum containment area outside of the Middle East countries.
The first Indian reservation was in New Jersey, in the Watchung Mountains.
New Jersey has the tallest water-tower in the world.
New Jersey had the first Medical Center, in Jersey City.
The Pulaski Sky Way, from Jersey City to Newark, was the first skyway-highway.
NJ built the first auto tunnel under a river, the Hudson. (Holland Tunnel)
New Jersey is the only state in the nation which offers child abuse prevention workshops to every public school.
The first baseball game was played in Hoboken, NJ, which is also the birthplace of Frank Sinatra.
The first intercollegiate football game was played in New Brunswick in 1889. (Rutgers College played Princeton.)
The first Drive-in Movie theater was opened in Camden, NJ.
New Jersey is home to both of "New York's " Pro Football Teams!
The first radio station and broadcast was in Paterson, NJ.
All New Jersey natives:
Jack Nicholson, Bruce Springsteen, Bon Jovi, Jason Alexander, Queen Latifa, Susan Sarandon, Connie Francis, Shaq, Judy Blume, Aaron Burr, Joan Robertson, Ken Kross, Dionne Warwick, Sarah Vaughn, Budd Abbott, Lou Costello, Alan Ginsberg, Norman Mailer, Marilynn McCoo, Flip Wilson, Alexander Hamilton, Whitney Houston, Eddie Money, Linda McElroy, Eileen Donnely, Grover Cleveland, Woodrow Wilson, Walt Whitman, Jerry Lewis, Tom Cruise, Richard Wojewodzki, Joyce Kilmer,
Bruce Willis, Caesar Romero, Lauryn Hill, Ice-T ,Nick Adams, Nathan Lane, Sandra Dee, Danny DeVito, Richard Conti, Joe Pesci, Joe Piscopo, Robert Blake, John Forsyth, Meryl Streep, Loretta Swit, Norman Lloyd, Paul Simon, Jerry Herman, Gorden McCrae, Kevin Spacey, John Travolta, Phyllis Newman, Anne Morrow Lindbergh, Eva Marie Saint, Elisabeth Shue, Zebulon Pike, James Fennimore Cooper, Admiral Wm. Halsey, Jr., Dave Thomas (Wendy's), William Carlos Williams, Ray Liotta, Robert Wuhl, Paul Robeson, Ernie Kovacs, and of course, Frank Sinatra
08:49
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bubbly and lovely: i'm too poor for therapy.
